BROKEN HEART!!

sometimes they hurt you so much
your heart starts to ache
your brain goes numb

it is just a matter of words
a few words....a few comments
delivered so recklessly

an already broken heart
how much more pieces can it break into
could it bleed any more??

all pieces gathered
all parts glued
all blood wiped off

is it the same heart now?
does it still have all those feelings??
emotions from the past?

its a heart with a scar on it
a black long scar
the exterior is healing

the interior is still so soft
the interior still bleeds
the interior still aches

its a strong heart now
its a steel heart now
stainless steel heart

but interior is still
as warm n soft n supple
and full of memories

No its not a stone heart
it has feelings...
all locked up inside the steel exterior

one more grievance
and it will explode
and no one will be able to gather the bits n pieces

ZOMBIE

high above in the sky
lynching in the cold air
my feet are frozen
and I can see them
all busy in their worlds
I SCREAM!!
they hush me
I CRY!!
they scold me
I PROTEST!!
they ignore me
I am SILENT!!
I say no more
they ACKNOWLEDGE me

In he and she I find no me, in me no more I find a shade of thee.

Alone in the dark
is how I feel
trapped in the shadow
I cannot breath
the farther I go
the more it haunts
the harder I try
more weaker it gets

Alone in the dark
is how I feel
the faces I see
I cannot perceive
the relations there were
I cannot conceive
the dreams I have
I cannot fulfill

Alone in the dark
is how I feel
the higher I go
the deeper they push
the stable the path gets
more tremors I feel

Alone in the dark
they want me to feel
alone in the world
is what I feel

why AM I so confused???

What is Life??? Its purpose??? What are we doing on earth??? Why are we here on earth???

I have been thinking ALL my life....What is the purpose of my existence on earth??? What am I????Who am I?? Why am I????
If I take Reference from Quran...or concentrate on the teachings of Islam..I might understand the true meaning and Purpose of life......But do u really think I wouldn't have done that already?

A human mind is never satisfied!! and is ALWAYS in search of answers...and even AFTER it gets all the answers!! It doesn not stop there!!! And the quest continues!! The chase continues!!
Human beings (ashraf-ul- makhlookat)have always been in search ...In search of a lot of things...In search of happiness, in search of mysteries and in search of God!!!
do u know where God is????? We KNOW he exists!! exists everywhere!! BUT exactly where????
human mind has lots of gray matter..folds...gyri...sulci.... BUT still its TOO LIMITED!!limited to only the kind of thinking God allows us to have.
YES..it is Allah's will that we cannot think beyond our knowledge,beyond our imagination. TIME , SPACE....Are only relative entities...What is TIME?? Do you know?? Do I know?? Just a relative term or period, created by Allah to explain and relate certain things to us. There are no time limits where Allah Almighty lives...Where heaven and hell are sited.
BUT where does Allah Almighty live?? Why cant we see him?? What does he do all day?? Are there days over there too?? over where?? What's this all about??
Again the same question...why are we here on earth?? Where is earth?? Near Allah?? Near heaven??
What does our existence mean? why were we created?? If the entire universe was created only and only for Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H) then why were WE created??
WHY??
If there is destiny..If the good and the bad souls were pre determined..then why were they sent on earth?? When nothing I do can change my destiny..then why do I have to do anything in the first place??
The" what", "why","when", drives me crazy...and all my life these questions have popped up in my mind one way or another. Why do I keep struggling to seek answers. Why can't I just stop thinking? I CAN'T coz Allah Almighty has made me like that, has given me a brain to USE n not waste...BUT ....WHY???
why can't I be like the millions of girls that I know...with no worries...the girls for whom "why", "what", "when" does not mean anything and it does not interfere with their lives...all they worry about is the next day...what they would wear...what they would say... they do not want to think where they will be ten years from now...their only worry is their boy friends...their most important relationship...no other relationship matters to them..and their world revolves around them...I wish I could think like them..I really really do!!
I still don't know what my existence means..and what I am doing?? why was I created?? to fill the gaps?? spaces??
YES I accept I have reached a certain milestone in my life...and for the past many years THIS is all I wanted...BUT now...I am not even sure if that's what I actually wanted...I am confused twice over!!.. What do I want now?? Will I die unnoticed like millions of people around me?? Was I sent on earth just to be a part of a BORING play?? Was there no special REASON for my creation??
Why after achieving all this, that I once thought would be enough for me,I still think I am standing no where?? why do I feel there is A LOT I still have to do..NEED to do??
Maybe coz the real battle..the real play has just not begun yet!!
God....I really am confused!!

EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE!!

People today are so clonish!!! Everyone looks like everyone!!!

Fashion crazy generation of today is following the new trends SO religiously.
Yes there seems like no originality, no individuality!
everyone is copying everybody. The only thing that makes everyone different from everyone else is their inner beauty, their mind, their thoughts!!

YES I agree...I myself am crazy when it comes to following the new fashion trends. People around are SO shallow ( including me)...That if they see someone else wearing the same stuff as them...they will be like..Hey look that GIRL/GUY is wearing my exact same shoes!! OR Why the hell did you copy my purse( don't u know I have copy rights for that!! I can sue you!! I swear I will!! but I am afraid the person/model I copied it from will sue me too..so I forgive you!! :P)
THIS is exactly wat I hear my friends/family saying to people around them. I myself hear myself saying sometimes " hey don't tell anyone where you got that from..I don't want every single person around wearing the exact same thing!!"...YUCK!!!! is that how I am suppose to think!!! wat has happened to me??? was I always like that!!! Or is it ''IN'' these days to bitch about almost everything and to be skeptic ALL the time????? YES....I guess it has become the new IN thing to pull everyone else's leg OR bitch about them behind their backs!!!
NOW coming back to the main issue!!..... Fashion has taken over our country like a storm!! The more u follow it the more it takes over you!! And YES....we ALL do look clonish(clone)!! everyone is wearing a uniform these days!!! the same short shirts, dholak shalwars!!!
I myself am acting like an ass.....got myself dozens of such uniforms stitched!! WHY??? coz I am starting my house job in a couple of days!! And I DO want to look like everyone else!!! I DO want to look fashionable!!
fashion IS to be followed!! we should not be ashamed of following one particular trend the so called "IN" trend.....and we should also keep in mind not get too annoyed at seeing someone else wearing OR following the same trend!!!!!
BUT!!!!!Please!!!!Please!!!...Don't copy the exact same style....plz don't just "COPY" and "PASTE".... instead try to customize the graphics a bit!!!!
be fashion crazy!!! but don't be the "COPY CAT"!!!
put some effort.....and make your own personal fashion statements!!! instead of following it...word to word OR copy pasting it.......put some personal touch!!! something of your own self!! your own style!!!!! THAT way u would be following the fashion without wearing the UNIFORM every one else is wearing!!!!
..................just an advice....................

CHILL n BE FASHIONABLE!!

AND

DO follow all the new trends!!! ( just like polygamy so mercilessly followed by the male society these days >: )

what is my destiny??

my destiny seems so near
yet so far away

I have crossed so many milstones
yet there are many to come

My vision seems so clear
yet I cannot focus

its all so clear what I want
yet so indistinct

why is there confusion in the air..... insecutiry everywhere??

what am I doing....where am I going??

when will I reach my destiny...how will I reach my destiny??

what is my destiny?????

A little something that touched my heart!!

Aashnaa
Artist: Junaid Jamshed

Kyun Bantay Ho
Aashna
Lamha Bhar Ko
Kabhi Kabhi

Jeena HaiGar
Umr Bhar
Humain Ban Kar
Ajnabi

Kyun Bantay Ho
Aashna
Lamha Bhar Ko
Kabhi Kabhi

Jeena Hai Gar
Umr Bhar
Humain Ban Kar
Ajnabi

Tanha Rehnay Do
Mujhay Tanha Rehnay Do
Bura Ya Bhala
Jee To Raha Hoon
Zinda Rehnay Do

Tanha Rehnay Do
Mujhay Tanha Rehnay Do
Bura Ya Bhala
Jee To Raha Hoon
Zinda Rehnay Do

Kyun Bantay Ho
Aashna
Lamha Bhar Ko
Kabhi Kabhi

Jeena Hai Gar
Umr Bhar
Humain Ban Kar
Ajnabi

Koi Hal Nahin
Ab Koi Hal Nahin
Nazar Main Meri
Humara Tumhara
Koi Kal Nahin

Koi Hal Nahin
Ab Koi Hal Nahin
Nazar Main Meri
Humara Tumhara
Koi Kal Nahin

Kyun Bantay Ho
Aashna
Lamha Bhar Ko
Kabhi Kabhi

Jeena Hai Gar
Umr Bhar
Humain Ban Kar
Ajnabi

Kyun Bantay Ho
Aashna
Lamha Bhar Ko
Kabhi Kabhi

Jeena Hai Gar
Umr Bhar
Humain Ban Kar
Ajnabi

nothing makes any sense!!

have you ever wondered wats your role in this play called "life"??
have you ever wondered wats the meaning of your existence??
have you ever wondered if your presence makes any difference to any one around you??
if you die today..how many people will shed a tear?? will it change or move anything in this damned world??
life is full of events.....sometimes very small or minute events change your life dramatically..FOR EVER!!
its funny, how small incidents make you change the way u think about certain things.
how small gestures, meanings less words effect you.
its strange and ironic how meaningful these meaningless words can be!! and How they make u think over the lines u never thought u would think over!!!
nothing makes any sense!! all seems temporary!! hollow!!